Dreams In Lights
by PuckerUp
Summary: Puck is a rockstar with women falling at his feet. There's just one that won't. She just happens to be the one he wants. Puckleberry pairing, M Themes ; LANGUAGE, LEMONS, MILD DRUG USE
1. Prologue

**A/N: So thanks for checking out my story! I personally, am in love with Puck and I love Puck & Rachel together so I decided to write a Puckleberry fanfic! Anyway, enough with the boring stuff, here you go!**

* * *

~*~_Prologue~*~_

**Rachel - POV**

I was struggling to breathe.

Finn grabbed my arm and pulled me back, with tears streaming down his broken down face.

'Please... don't leave me.'

I was crying too. My heart was pounding an alarming rate. He was making this too hard for me. How was I supposed to leave when he was guilt tripping me into stay? Finn never cried, not even when his mother died the day after graduation. Not even the day that he found out that Quinn's baby wasn't his. Never.

'This was never meant to work out,' I whispered, pulling my arm out of Finn's grasp. 'You have to understand, Finn.'

Finn looked right into my eyes and slowly let go of my arm.

'I love you Rachel. Please.'

I turned around and walked right out the door.

***

**Puck-POV**

I stubbed my cigarette out on the pavement and stood up, just as I was hounded by a group of fan girls shoving photoshopped pictures of myself into my face.

'Please, girls, I have to get inside.'

Their disappointed faces made me feel guilty. Sure, I had the appearance of a rock star who slept around did whatever the fuck he wanted, but I hated letting people down. I wanted them to like me.

I strode past the girls and walked into the back door of the stadium I was about to play in, in front of 100,000 screaming fans and their bored boyfriends. My life had changed dramatically in the last three years. My new found fame after competing with Glee through my senior year had resulted in an agent approaching me, offering me a record deal which had been the big break I had been hoping for. Sure, I had hoped for a big break in football, but after being thrown off the team for smoking weed behind the school gym, Glee was all I had. I became an outcast once I was offered that record deal. Quinn suddenly had the urge to tell Finn that he was not the father of her baby, and so in six seconds, I lost my best friend, my future and my girlfriend.

_Rachel._

I loved her more than anything. She made me feel like I could do anything; like I could _be_ anything. She made me feel so lucky to even have her in my life. Then she left me. I had nothing left, so I began smoking, skipping school and my grades slipped. The only thing I cared about in life was Glee and even then it was painful, because I had to see Rachel fawning over Finn ever chance I got.

I always wondered whether she knew she'd made a mistake; picking Finn over me when it came to deciding. I thought about it every single day of my fucking life.

And here I am, three years later, standing backstage of my own concert, listening to the chants of a screaming crowd waiting for me to come on stage and work my magic.

I stepped up to the microphone and coughed nervously. The crowd went silent.

'Hi. Thanks for coming out tonight. This first song's called _Sweet Caroline_.'

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**Please, please review! All are appreciated and will be replied to if necessary! :)**


	2. Bittersweet Reunion

**A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed, put this story on story alert and in your favourites list... every single one of you rock!**

**So anyway, I've decided to start every chapter with a flashback, as it'll give you a better picture of how things went wrong etc. This week it's a memorable moment for Puck & Rachel and it'll be very important for the storyline, so pay attention!**

**NOTICE: This chapter is just a 'glimpse' of what's to come in this story. All of your questions will be answered in the coming chapters, I promise. And don't forget to leave a review or comment or whatever if you'd like to ask me something!**

**Oh and one last thing (just one more thing, I promise!). I've made a Twitter account for Puck, where you can ask 'him' anything you want or just follow for updates on this fanfic or whatever. I'll post anything and everything on there.. really! :) Its:  
twitter{dot}com / OhAPuckerman**

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_*~Flashback~*_

_3 years ago._

_22 Feb - Right after sectionals._

_**Puck – POV**_

'_Mr. Puckerman, we are very serious about getting you as far as we can. You have a talent and it seems like a shame to waste it. We want people to hear your music.'_

_My mouth was open in shock. I could feel Rachel's grip tighten around my hand as she beamed at me._

'_We'd like to offer you a record deal.'_

_I stared at the well-dressed man and suddenly burst out laughing._

'_You're kidding me, right? Seriously?'_

_I glanced at Rachel, who smiled intensely._

'_I'm being very serious Mr. Puckerman. Look, here's my card...' the man took out a small rectangular card out of his chest pocket and put it into my open hand. 'Please, call me and we can talk more at a later date. You would be a very important asset to our company.'_

_I watched the man walk away and then looked at his card._

Bruce Jensen,

PU Records,

32 Tree Street,

Manhattan,

New York

555...

'_Oh... my... GOD!' Rachel looked right into my eyes and kissed me quickly. 'This is brilliant Noah!'_

'_Yeah...' _

_I frowned slightly and glanced at the card again._

'_What's wrong?' she asked worriedly, holding tightly onto my hand. 'This is the moment your life changes. You're meant to smile! Scream even!'_

_I nodded and shoved the card into my jeans pocket. 'I know it's just... this is your dream. You're meant to have an agent approach you, he's meant to give you his card. This is meant to happen to you, not me.'_

_Rachel laughed quietly._

'_Don't worry about me. I'll be just fine as long as I have you.'_

_I smiled at her modesty._

'_Don't tell me that you're not disappointed. I know this is what you've always wanted.'_

_Rachel's smile faltered._

'_Is this what you want, Noah?'_

_I honestly didn't know._

'_I just want you. Nothing else matters.'_

_Rachel beamed once more and surprised me with a kiss._

'_I love you, Rachel,' I blurted out, aware that we had never spoken those words to each other before._

_She kissed me once more with a little less force._

'_It's about time,' she laughed. 'I love you too, Noah.'_

_I sighed with relief. _

_She loved me._

***

_Present Day_

As expected, Sweet Caroline was the biggest hit of the night. The crowd went wild for it, so I played an encore at the very end of my sold-out show. I left the stage with a swift goodbye: '_Thanks for coming out.' _

'Excellent show, Puck,' shouted my agent, James Rhodes over the roars of the crowd. 'Listen, we need to have lunch tomorrow, you have a few more campaign deals that we have to have a look at. Call me, okay.'

I nodded at James and headed towards my comfortable dressing room. I didn't think I had enough energy left for another ad campaign. I was already promoting _Burst, _the new 'cool' mineral, _Nike _shoes and the fan favourite, _Armani _underwear – which, by the way, are extremely uncomfortable unless you have a really small... well, let's just say I prefer boxers.

I had two more shows to play; another one tomorrow night in Manhattan and one in Nashville in two days time and then I was free to chill out before my third album was due out in four months time. I was exhausted, and all I really wanted to do was watch TV in my tour bus and sleep for a year.

Unfortunately, that plan was quashed the moment I saw who was standing in my dressing room.

'Hey, Noah. Surprise.'

_Rachel._

**Rachel – POV**

I had not expected his reaction to be so blunt.

'What are you doing here?' he growled. I watched him cross the room the grab a beer out of the mini fridge in the corner. 'You need money? An autograph maybe? Well I'm sorry, but I can't help you.'

'Um... I don't need money. I won't pass on an autograph though'

I laughed nervously but stopped quickly and observed him taking a swift swig out of his beer bottle.

'So what are you doing here? You must want something from me,' he said, leaning against the dressing table. 'Everybody wants something from me,' he added under his breath.

I sighed patiently and looked at him. He was different. His trademark Mohawk was still the same, but he bore dark circles under his eyes and he obviously hadn't shaved in a few days. A bristled stubble had made its way through his unblemished face.

'I don't want anything from you.'

That had obviously not been the answer he had been prepared for. He looked at me curiously and frowned.

'How's Finn?'

I had however, expected that question.

'He um... he proposed to me. Last night.'

He took a sharp intake of breath and refused to look me in the eye.

**Puck – POV**

I stifled a quiet 'congratulations' and took another swig of beer. I was still confused to why she was here. To invite me to the wedding perhaps? Fat chance I'd be attending.

'I said no,' she added quietly.

I looked at her curiously. My face crinkled with surprise.

'Why? It's what you always wanted, isn't it? To get married to Finn and have a perfect little life with him? The football stud and the popstar. Now that's original.'

My voice got louder as the sentence went on.

'That was never what I wanted,' she said, her voice quivering slightly. 'You knew that.'

'I thought I did.' I was almost shouting now. 'The moment you left me was the moment where all I believed about you fell apart.'

A tear escaped the corner of Rachel's eye. I wanted to reach out and wipe that tear away, but I was angry. Angry with her, angry with Finn. I was angry with the whole situation.

'I was never good enough for you in your eyes.'

Rachel sniffled softly and wiped the tear away. She looked very surprised.

'Noah, I...'

She was cut off by a loud knock on the dressing room door. James peered his head around the door and threw me a cautious look. 'Puck, Quinn's outside. She says she needs to talk to you about the wedding.'

He quickly closed the door and I turned my face to Rachel.

'I'm... gonna go,' she said quickly, grabbing her coat off the back of the sofa.

'Rachel, she's not...'

Rachel stopped me by putting her finger against my lips.

'It was nice to see you, Noah.'

She almost ran out of the room before I could explain. She didn't understand.

God, I had missed her.

***

**Rachel – POV**

I almost ran out of the stadium. As soon as the fresh air hit me, I collapsed to the ground with tears rolling down my face. I was being unreasonable. I shouldn't be crying over something that was bound to happen at something. I was just deluded enough to think that he might actually wait for me.

I wiped away my tears as a group of giggling girls passed me. They gave me a weird look as they passed; I was sitting on the curb crying like a baby after all. They continued laughing as soon as they passed me.

'_Hey... wasn't that Rachel Berry?' _one of them whispered loudly. The rest of them disagreed and continued on walking.

'_Ooh... his voice is just the dreamiest_,' one of the girls giggled.

'_Especially when he sings Sweet Caroline,' _another one added.

I perked my ears up; they were talking about Noah's concert. I hadn't been to one. I tried to go once, two years ago, right when his career was just starting to pick up. I broke down and returned home to Finn's arms, where he consoled me for a reason that he would never understand. It was at that concert that I realised that Finn was never the one for me. I didn't love him enough for that.

My phone buzzed inside my pocket rather harshly. I took it out and glanced at the name on-screen.

_Finn_

I didn't know whether to answer it or not. I plucked up the courage to press the receive button.

'Hello?' I paused.

I could hear his slow breathing on the other end of the phone.

'Rachel, I've... I've done something bad... terrible... please...'

I stood up quickly.

'Finn... what have you done?'

'I just... I don't understand... what I did to you... to make you... I took...'

A big thump echoed at the other end of the phone.

The line went dead.

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**A/N: Ooh big cliffhanger hehe! Please review and whatnot, every single one counts and I love everyone who does! :)**


	3. Me and My Drank

**A/N: Well, it's been a while! Sorry for the wait, I've been uber-uber-busy :) Thanks to all who reviewed & put this story on story alerts etc. You guys rock as usual!  
This chapter is inspired by Bon Iver because their music is the shizzle :)  
One more thing, I have no clue how to play American football or what the teams are called etc so please tell my if I get something wrong. Blame Google.**

**Without much further ado, here's chapter two (or three, for those who count the prologue as a chapter).**

_

* * *

_

_~*Flashback*~_

_4 Years Ago _

_Sept 13_

'_Don't shout at me, Rachel!'_

_I threw my guitar into the corner of the room and collapsed into the nearest collapsible chair. 'I'm doing the best that I can. What more do you want from me?'_

'_I want you to try harder!' I almost felt bad. Rachel's eyes were beginning to glisten and I knew that I was starting to get on her nerves. 'Look... I'm sorry. I just know that you have it in there somewhere.'_

_I sighed harshly and placed my head in my hands._

'_You over estimate my abilities,' I muttered. I heard the seat beside me creak slightly as Rachel sat lightly onto it. 'I'm not as good as you make me out to be.' _

'_Let's try again,' Rachel said, after a short pause in our conversation. I didn't argue. I got up and picked up my frail guitar from the floor where it was now lying amongst a few wooden chips. The strap went over my shoulder and I strummed a few chords._

'_Now this time, open your mouth a little wider and really pull it out of yourself.' Rachel sat in front of me and smiled slightly. 'You can do it. All you need is a little confidence.'_

_I studied her for a brief minute before starting. Her eyes were open wide, ready for me to begin. She was smiling as if she was about to hear something that will blow her mind. I had noticed that smile before, but I couldn't remember when she'd used it._

_I coughed a little and muttered okay before strumming the first chord. '...Where it began...'_

_We were interrupted by a laughing Finn and Kurt entering the room. The stopped once they saw who was in their presence._

'_Oh, hey guys.' Finn smiled briefly while keeping his gaze firmly on Rachel. 'What's going on?'_

'_Nothing much,' Rachel turned to greet Finn as he walked over to talk to us. It was then that I realised where I had seen that smile before._

_That smile belonged to Finn._

***

***BREAKING NEWS***

"**New York Giants Quarterback, Finn Hudson was admitted to hospital yesterday it has been confirmed. The 21-year-old was spotted by a few fans late last night emerging from an ambulance on a stretcher and brought inside to a private room in Manhattan General where he was treated for unknown causes. Hudson's long time girlfriend, singing megastar Rachel Berry was spotted entering the hospital with what is assumed to be his mother, Linda Hudson, just moments ago. Hudson was set to play in the line-up against football rivals, the Dallas Cowboys this weekend." – E! News Now**

***

**Rachel - POV**

A few paparazzi had already stationed themselves outside the hospital by the time I arrived. Cameras began flashing the moment I stepped out of my chauffeured Bentley with Finn's mother, Linda and we both made our way to the front desk, as quick as we could has reporters fired questions at us.

'_Did Finn try to kill himself?'_

'_Did he overdose?'_

'_Did you cheat on him Rachel?'_

'_Over here, Ms. Berry!'_

Both Ms. Hudson and I had barely shared a word in our chauffeured Bentley. Ms. Hudson had received a call from Finn right before he called me and it was obvious that she was blaming me for his 'accident'.

'Finn Hudson, please,' mumbled Ms. Hudson to the female receptionist and began tapping her fingers on the counter. The receptionist nodded courteously and whilst keeping her eyes on me, she began clicking buttons on her keyboard, not paying any attention at all to what she was doing.

'Second floor, burns unit. Room 12'

'Thanks,' I muttered before turning to follow Ms. Hudson to the elevator.

'Excuse me...?' I span around to see the woman still looking at me. 'I... I really like your music.'

'Thanks,' I replied hurriedly and sped on to get to the elevator. This wasn't the time for exchanging pleasantries.

The elevator was empty apart from Ms. Hudson and me. She stayed silent which was the way I liked it. I knew what she'd say if she ever decided to talk to me.

'Second floor,' beeped the operator. 'Burns Unit.'

I pushed my way out of the elevator and took a running start towards Room 12. It was a private room, isolated from all the other rooms in the same ward. The curtains were drawn over the door so no one could see inside and a tall, suited man was guarding the door.

'Can we go in?' Ms. Hudson whispered to the suited man. She was close to tears and was clutching her bag as if it was about to be taken from her.

'Can I see some ID first, ma'am,' the man replied politely. Ms. Hudson rummaged around her bag for what felt like forever before she found her driver's license.

'Thank you ma'am, you can go in.'

As Ms. Hudson entered her son's room, I began to search my jacket pockets for my own driver's license but the man stopped me. 'I don't need any ID from you, Ms. Berry,' he smiled. I nodded in reply and entered the room right after Ms. Hudson.

I gasped loudly, unintentionally, when I saw the sight before me in the hospital bed. Wires were coming out of almost everywhere in Finn's body, and were hooked up to all sorts of whirring and beeping machines. There were bandages wrapped around Finn's face and arms and he wearing a protective cover over his chest.

Ms. Hudson let out a soft sob from the side of Finn's bed, where she was holding his hand lightly in her hand. 'Oh Finn, how could you be so stupid?' she whispered.

His eyes were closed and he was barely recognizable underneath all of his coverings.

'He's just gone to sleep,' said a voice at the entrance of the room. A nurse was standing there, smiling slightly at the two of us. She had prominent lines across her forehead as if she was clenching it all the time; and her small mouth suggested she liked to smile. 'We had a little trouble putting drugs into him; he refused to take them, but we got there eventually.'

I turned away from the nurse and sat in one of the chairs next to Finn's bed. Ms. Hudson continued to stand.

'How... how severe are his... burns?' she choked, tears streaming fiercely down her face.

'The paramedics rescued him just in time. He has a few burns; most severely across the left sides of his body, but less so, on his right side. We had to put skin grafts on his face and arms, but there was no need to put any anywhere else.'

Ms. Hudson nodded at the nurse and began to stroke her son's hair softly.

The nurse excused herself and left the room. I took this opportunity to say something to Ms. Hudson.

'Ms. Hudson, I want to... apologize for...'

'Don't,' Ms. Hudson snapped, interrupting my apology. 'Just... don't.'

I stood up from my chair and stood by the door in shock. 'Sorry,' I muttered, before heading outside the room's door in a hurry to get out of there. For the second time in two days, I cried.

***

**Puck – POV**

I got exactly three minutes of sleep last night. I know this because I fell asleep watching my bedside clock, and woke up with a jerk to a time of three minutes later.

I had Rachel on my mind and it was driving me nuts. I felt bad for letting her go like that without an explanation but then again, she was the one who showed up without an invitation. I argued with myself all night and thought about calling her up. Maybe she still kept her old cell phone. Some people don't like changing and maybe she was one of them.

It was then I realised that I don't know anything about her anymore. The Rachel I knew had dreams of being a star and had some self confidence issues, but the Rachel I met last night was different. She projected confidence and as the whole world knows, she's a star. Her personal appearance had changed too. I hadn't physically seen her in years, and if she turned up on the television or in a magazine, I flicked the page as fast as I could. Her hair was longer and wavier. She wore dark eyeliner and had countless amounts of 'natural' make-up on, but even I know that she doesn't need it. She never did.

By 9am, I had the phone in my hand with her number typed in, but everything was stopping me from pressing the call button. I understood that by doing this, I was giving it. In truth, I had forgiven her for leaving all those years ago. I was more angry at her for changing; for taking off into the sunset with Finn when she had promised me that she would never love anyone but me. I guess I always thought... or rather wished that she would keep that promise, if any at all.

***

Drunk by noon was not by any means my plan for the day. I relied on James to keep me sober and clean before any show, but today he was nowhere to be found. So here I was, sitting in an empty tour bus with only myself and my imaginary friend for company. I called him Bob. Oddly enough, I found that he only ever showed up when I was drunk, which hadn't been for a few months, just the odd drink here and there that James did not need to know about. James finally showed up at 1 o clock with his phones buzzing and beeping like a house on fire and wearing the same clothes that he had worn last night.

'What the fuck are you playing at, Puck?' he scolded when he smelt the stale alcohol in the air. He trudged across the scattered mess of chocolate bar wrappers and beer cans to pick me up by the collar of my shirt and bang me up against the wall.

'Gerroff me!' I moaned, trying but failing fantastically to reduce James' hold on me.

'This wouldn't have anything to do with that visitor you received last night, would it?'

He let me drop to the ground and watched me struggle my way onto the stained couch.

'Course not, Jimmy,' I slurred. I watched Bob stand behind James and make rabbit ears over his head. His eyes became crossed and he stuck his tongue out. I thought this was hilarious, so I laughed loudly.

'This isn't fucking _funny_, Puck! I have put up with your stupid binges before but you promised me that you were going to stay sober!'

I sniggered quietly as Bob started licking James' ear. Why wasn't he noticing this?'

'You know what? I'm finished. I'm fucking done.'

I continued to laugh as James' slammed the tour bus door behind him. Bob disappeared too and suddenly, I felt very, very alone.

***

I was sober by the time the rehearsal for my show came around. An even longer line of people waiting for my show were standing outside the stadium than last night. They stretched about three blocks and as I stepped out of my tour bus, a deafening scream escape their tiny mouths. I waved politely as I ran into the back door of the stadium. Paparazzi had planted themselves outside and were flashing their cameras right into my face. They shouted meaningless shit at me, trying to get a reaction which I knew better than to rise to. The door of the stadium just closed behind my bodyguard, Jared, when I heard one of them shout:

'..._Hudson in hospital yet?'_

I stopped in my tracks and stared at the door for a few moments. What was he talking about?

Jared muttered 'ignore them' in my ear before pushing me towards my dressing room. I prepared myself before walking in; after the surprise I received last night, I wanted to be prepared in case I was bombarded by my mother or someone else unexpected.

When I found James sitting in my dressing room, I felt more disappointed than relieved. I did however, owe James an apology. I knew perfectly well what it felt like when a promise was broken.

'I'm really sorry, James.'

I was surprised even more when James suddenly walked over to me and gave me a hug.

'That's enough man-love for one day,' I smiled, pulling away.

James patted me roughly on the back and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'I should be sorry too. I shouldn't have reacted like I did... I should have known better. We all know what the _girl _does to you'

'No, you were fully entitled to say the things you did,' I argued. I decided to ignore his last remark. We both took a seat on the couch and sighed. 'I promised you that I'd stay sober when you bailed me out of that shit hole of a rehab and I couldn't have thanked you enough for helping me out.'

James smiled briefly before frowning softly.

'So, you've probably heard the news by now. Are you going to visit him? Quite right if you don't, after what he did to you...'

'What are you on about? Visit who?'

James looked horrified, like he'd said something wrong.

'Nothing, forget I said anything.'

He went to get up, but I stopped him with my arm.

'James, tell me!'

He sighed and moved my arm away.

'Look it's nothing, I'll... I'll tell you after the show.'

But that was no use. I was intrigued now. I followed him towards the door and stopped it from opening with my food.

'Spit it out, James!'

He sighed again and gave up trying to escape.

'Well you know that football friend of yours? Finn Hudson? The one you went to high school with?'

'Yeah yeah, what about him?'

James phone started to ring again and he went to answer it. He looked at the name and clicked the receive button.

'Hey Will! Can I call you right back, my man? Cheers, bye.'

He put the phone back in his pocket.

'He was in the hospital. He was in an accident.'

My first thought went to Rachel. When she left here, did she go back to him? Was she in the accident too?

'What happened to him?'

'He burnt down his apartment and was too drunk to get out of it before it burnt to cinders. He's meant to be in a bad condition; apparently your _friend _broke up with him and he attempted to burn all of her stuff. Which stupidly turned out to include himself.

I sat back on the couch in shock. So she had been telling the truth. Up until now, I wasn't sure if I'd believed her.

'She wasn't with him, if that's what you are worrying about.'

Of course he'd known what I was worrying about. James knew me down to my smallest habits. That's what you learn about a person when you spent most of three years with them. There was a small silence between us as I digested all of this new information.

'I'm gonna go see her,' I announced suddenly, checking my pockets for my phone and heading towards the door. 'To see how she's doing and everything.'

It was James' turn to stop me.

'No, Puck, you have a show in one hour. You can't go and see anyone.' His expression said a thousand words. He knew what would happen if I went to Rachel. He'd find me in a drunken mess tomorrow in a gutter somewhere, disgusted about being rejected.

Even so, I wanted to go anyway. I had no reason as to why it would be a good idea and every reason why it was a bad one.

'Let me go, James,' I protested, struggling yet again to free myself from his grasp. 'Just let me go.'

But James kept a firm hold on me.

'I'm not going to let her do this to you again!'

I knew exactly what he meant. And I knew that he was right, but I had to go and see her.

I needed to.

* * *

**A/N: Lots more Puck/Rachel interaction in the next chapter, promise : ) **


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